ADHD, unfinished plans and the deadlines nobody gave us.
A colleague once told me, “You’re so busy. You put the rest of us to shame!”
Meanwhile, I was thinking about everything I hadn’t done.
This happens to me regularly. Other people point out how much I’ve accomplished. I’m looking at the video I haven’t recorded.
Or the podcast episode. Or the group program I want to relaunch. Or the events I’d like to plan.
I have more ideas than time to work on them. I know that. It doesn’t stop me from feeling behind.
When I started writing about this on October 28, I caught myself thinking that publishing it in November would make it late.
Nobody had given me a deadline.
I’d made one up, then started judging myself against it.
Which idea is worth my time?
If you have ADHD, another idea can be very persuasive.
You’ve chosen what to work on tonight. Then you remember something else you want to do, and suddenly your choice feels questionable.
Should you be doing that instead? Would it be quicker? More useful? More interesting?
You can spend the evening working on one thing and thinking you should be doing three others.
I’m trying to be more deliberate about the difference between an idea I want to pursue and something I’ve committed to doing now.
The idea can stay. It doesn’t automatically get a deadline.
What about the thing you did mean to do?
Sometimes you had a plan and didn’t follow it.
You meant to fill out a form. Instead, you answered emails, did laundry and cleaned the kitchen.
You were busy. The form is still there.
What happened when you considered doing it?
Maybe you needed information and didn’t know where to find it. Maybe you expected it to take hours, so you kept choosing things you could finish quickly.
Maybe you were waiting until you’d caught up on everything else.
That last one can keep a task waiting indefinitely.
Before writing “fill out form” again, open it. Find the first question you can’t answer. You may discover the next step is to ask someone for information.
You may also discover it’s simpler than the version you’ve been avoiding.
And what did getting everything else done take?
You can finish the work and still be exhausted by how you got there.
Maybe you stayed late to get some quiet. Or kept losing your place when someone interrupted. Or remembered an important detail after you’d already sent it.
When you have ADHD, getting the result you wanted doesn’t mean you’re happy to keep doing it that way.
You’re allowed to want help before you miss a deadline.
And you’re allowed to finish a day without letting an unfinished task become proof of some failing.
Tonight, I’d suggest looking at what you did, then choosing what needs your attention next.
One thing. The other ideas can wait their turn.
If you’d like support with choosing where your time goes, following through or feeling less overwhelmed by what’s on your mind, book your first trial coaching session.
