How to Create a Stress-Free Holiday Season with ADHD
I work in an office attached to a mall and can tell you exactly when I heard my first Christmas song this year: It was on Wednesday, November 13, 12:58 p.m. I was in a bookstore. The song was My Grown Up Christmas List. That Mariah song entered my ears on Friday, November 15 at 5:13pm while I was getting my nails done.
This year, in 2024, we have a proper Chrismukkah, with Christmas and Chanukah on the same day. Of course, I need to embed this video!
The holidays often come with a mix of excitement and stress. For those of us with ADHD, the festive season can feel especially overwhelming. The way our brains experience time often results in last-minute scrambles, overspending, and exhaustion. However, with a few strategies tailored to the ADHD experience, it’s possible to enjoy the holidays with less chaos and more peace.
Here’s a deep dive into why the holidays can be extra challenging for ADHD brains and what we can do to manage them effectively.
Why ADHD Brains Struggle with Holiday Planning
The ADHD brain perceives and interacts with time differently than neurotypical brains. Two major factors come into play:
Underestimating Time: We tend to misjudge how long tasks will take. This often leads to last-minute efforts and a lot of unnecessary stress.
Short Time Horizons: Events don’t feel real or urgent until they’re close. By the time holidays feel “soon enough” to act, it’s often too late to prepare calmly.
These differences mean we’re more likely to face rushed shopping, forgotten commitments, or even missed opportunities to enjoy the season. It’s not that we don’t care—it’s just that our brains need different strategies to navigate time effectively.
Step 1: Make a Holiday Bucket List
Before diving into holiday preparations, take a moment to list everything you’d like to do. Think of this as your “holiday bucket list.” From decorating your home to hosting a gathering, include everything that feels meaningful to you.
Once you have your list, break down each item into smaller, actionable steps. For example:
Goal: Host a holiday dinner.
Plan the guest list.
Decide on the menu.
Shop for ingredients.
Prepare the food.
Identifying all the steps ensures you won’t be caught off guard later.
Step 2: Schedule Time for Your Priorities
Once your list is ready, decide when you’ll do each activity. Break down the timeline further to include preparatory steps. For example:
To decorate a tree, you’ll need to:
Buy a tree (or retrieve it from storage).
Purchase or unpack decorations.
Set aside time to decorate.
Be realistic about your time. If you only have a couple of hours each week for holiday tasks, map out how much can reasonably fit. This helps you see whether your plans are feasible and allows you to prioritize what matters most.
Step 3: Protect Your Time with “Holiday Buckets”
Instead of assigning every single task to a specific date, consider creating “holiday time buckets.” These are flexible blocks of time reserved for holiday-related tasks. For instance:
A three-hour block on Sunday afternoons for gift shopping, decorating, or meal prepping.
This method gives you the freedom to decide what feels most urgent or exciting when the time comes, while still ensuring you’re making progress on your holiday goals.
Step 4: Communicate and Collaborate
Holidays often involve others, whether it’s family gatherings or group activities. Many tasks—like picking up a Christmas tree or coordinating a dinner—require collaboration. Take time early in the season to discuss plans with others, so you’re all on the same page.
For example:
If you need help carrying home a tree, plan with a friend or neighbor in advance.
If attending a party, confirm details like dates, times, and expectations early to avoid last-minute surprises.
Scheduling these conversations not only reduces stress but also ensures you have the support you need.
Step 5: Manage Overcommitment
ADHD brains often default to saying “yes” to everything, which can lead to burnout. It’s important to evaluate your commitments and consider canceling or scaling back on obligations that don’t align with your priorities.
If you realize you’ve overbooked yourself, don’t hesitate to politely cancel plans. Doing so early ensures others can adjust, and it allows you to focus on what’s truly meaningful to you.
Step 6: Plan Ahead for Future Holidays
If this holiday season feels too hectic to manage perfectly, use it as a learning experience. Jot down what worked well and what didn’t. For example:
Did decluttering take longer than expected?
Were there activities you couldn’t fit in but wanted to?
Consider starting some tasks earlier next year. For instance, if you want a beautifully decorated home, begin decluttering and organizing months in advance. Small steps throughout the year can make a big difference when the holidays roll around.
Overcoming Common Barriers
Even with a solid plan, obstacles can arise. Here’s how to address some of the most common challenges:
"I’m already out of time!"
If your calendar is packed, focus on what truly matters this season. Save less-critical tasks for next year and start planning early."This feels overwhelming."
Simplify your process by using flexible time buckets. Focus on one thing at a time rather than trying to tackle everything at once."I’ve overcommitted to others."
Review your commitments and cancel what’s not essential. Protect time for the activities that matter most to you.
Quick Summary / Takeaways:
ADHD brains often underestimate time and delay holiday preparations.
Start with a Holiday Bucket List to break down tasks into actionable steps.
Use flexible time buckets instead of rigid schedules to stay on track.
Communicate and collaborate early to avoid last-minute surprises.
Protect your energy by managing overcommitment and saying no when necessary.
View this holiday season as a learning opportunity to improve for next year.
Conclusion: Prioritize What Brings You Joy
The holidays should be a time of joy, not stress. By understanding how the ADHD brain interacts with time and using strategies that work with (not against) it, you can create a season that feels more manageable and fulfilling.
If you’d like personalized support in navigating challenges like these, I’d love to help. Contact me for ADHD coaching and let’s create a strategy tailored to your needs.
